Chemo, MIssoula Style

I'm sorry I haven't updated the blog as often as I'd have liked. We went to Missoula Monday for Wayne's first appointment with the new oncologist, and we like him. In talking to him though, I realized that Dr. Tucker, who we liked, changed Wayne from a cure path to a palliative one without letting us know that was what he was doing. He was talking about chemo going over the blood brain barrier and encouraging us to wait and see if it worked.

Well, it didn't. Wayne's lung tumor is a centimeter bigger. And there is no change in the brain MRI. The brain tumors are smaller, due to radiation, not chemo, but they are not a lot smaller. The original chemo Dr tucker was going to use was carboplatin and taxel. But when Wayne was not going to be able to have radiation to his lungs because of his advanced emphazema, he changed his mind about using taxel.

The new doctor, who we went with based on Fern saying she though he would fight harder, changed Wayne to taxel and has also changed around the way things are given. Wayne has been getting chemo every three weeks, and for two of those weeks, he was knocked on his butt afterward, but Dr. Nickles said that's not necessary and the results won't chage a bit whether Wayne gets smaller doses every week or if he gets big doses every three weeks. So He will be getting chemo every week from here on out. Every other week, they will also add in avastin, which is fairly strong and even in small amounts can only be given once every other week. He said these have a better chance of crossing that barrier as well as helping with the chest tumor.

We were all so worried about Wayne's brain, that we forgot about the lung. But this is lung cancer, not brain cancer, and so we have to treat it that way. We're really hoping that this new protocol will work. The odds aren't great--Ive seen the numbers--but for every person who has not beaten the odds, I can name two or three who have.

It is time to try alternatives and look at Tampa. We have had a number of products suggested for Waybe's use. The only problem is that I don't have the money to buy any of them. So while I am looking up alternative treatments, I am also looking for funding. In watching tv we learned that several types of lung csncer can be caused by working with asbestos. Wayne worked with it in the Navy, so I am absolutely pursuing that. I don't need the millions promised in the ads, but enough to try everything we want to try. I don't care how we do it: I just want my husband well.

He is also going to be having a second opinion about the changing of his epilepsy drugs and whether or not they might be able to operate on the brain tumors or even do more localized radiation. We were told that last wouldn't be an option, but new people have new ideas and we are sure open to anything that might help.

Still, when I was reading through sll the documents yesterday, I noticed that even Dr. Nickles had written palliative in the expected outcome box and I have to say that gave me pause. We have been told repeatedly that the objective is palliative--in other words, it's treatment that should help the symptoms and may prolong his life, but won't cure him. But I keep putting that out of my head. Seeing it in print really bothered me far more than I thought it would.

NOw, more than ever, I want to be home with him. However, I just got notice that I am about out of unemployment. I think I have at least one more extension coming, but this is not the time for me to have to be out working. I am going to work hard to try to get my book contract for the Korean experience essays that I have been encourgaged to try to publish. Oregon State University Press seems interested, but I have my doubts that I will earn enough to live off a book published there. I may send it around several places. I am also finally writing the book I have promised myself I would write about Wayne since he had his epilepsy surgery in 1990. Still, I don't know if I will be able to get a contract for that one any time soon. This is not the time for me to be away from him. Is is wrong that I want to squeeze out every second that we have together? We don't have to be talking or interacting. I just want to be near him. I wouldn't mind working from home if I coulod find something legitimate. And maybe it will be those books. So while you're all praying for Wayne, please say a little prayer for me that I can find a way to earn a living but still be able to stay home with my husband.

Enough morbidity for the night. Fern is have surgery tomorrow morning so I will stop here so that I can be up and at the hospital tomorrow. I ordered us some good chick flicks for when she is home recuperating. I will try to do better about getting these posts made. I have my computer and the right adapters to use Fern's dsl but I need to talk to the server to configure it. Once that's done, it will be a lot easier for me to do updates.